...do you get up the courage to call and ask if someone is still alive when you're honestly not sure what the answer is going to be?

Two weeks since I've heard from him. It's destroying me. I can't think about anything else. I look for him everywhere. I go to my door and open it and stand on the porch, hoping that'll make it somehow more likely that he'll walk up the driveway.

I just... can't stop hearing the voice of some useless Army functionary telling me the unthinkable. And I keep wondering what I would do when I hung up the phone. What would I do? What could I do?

I can't call. I can't do it.

I have to know.

I can't.

Labels: dread, Jeremy