My usual method, when holding forth like this, is to provide you with a map of my thought process. I submit to you what I thought of, and then the conclusion to which it brought me. I see no reason to deviate from this pattern now.
First, then, I've been thinking about evolution as I geared up for my anthropology test (on which I'm fairly sure I did well, by the way.). Stephen Jay Gould had a lecture on the subject that significantly clarified my understanding of it, but I won't bore you with the particulars (YET!). The salient fact that informed my thoughts today was this: that evolution is not a linear, point-to-point process. While chaos theory tells us that systems have a tendency to become more complex, because it is a function of environmental pressures evolution is as likely to produce less complicated forms as more complicated ones.
Point the second: that, in the absence of biological pressure, human beings have leisure to divide their attentions. Six billion people essentially ensures that we need breed no further for the moment. Therefore we must assign ourselves other goals--love, happiness, wealth, total world domination, what have you.
Consider these two facts in tandem for a moment.
Now on to point the third, exhibit A: one of those fucked up newspaper headlines you sometimes see, something like "15-year-old girl commits suicide after giving birth to the child of her rapist." I know, I know. But bear with me, please. This hypothetical girl was assaulted, and for whatever reason bore the offspring of that assault, and then killed herself. Further down the page, perhaps, you read that the child will be raised by the girl's bereaved mother.
Tragic, right? This is why I don't read the news. Shit like this makes me sick to my stomach. To us, this is a nightmare--this is every mother's worst fear. This, to us, is a broken life, a mess that never even got off the ground. This girl is dead before she ever really lived, and it wasn't even her fault. We look at this horror, this crime, this train wreck of an ending and we are saddened, sickened.
But soft--there's another thing. From an evolutionary standpoint, this is a success story. It's true. Look at it. A young girl in the peak of health has a child by someone she doesn't know, thus ensuring gene flow, and now she's dead, meaning she's no longer consuming the resources of her community. The child will be raised and cared for, and grow up to possibly have children of its own. This is an evolutionary good day.
All our species requires is that you have babies and survive long enough to ensure that they will survive. Evolution (to anthropomorphize) doesn't care whether you enjoy it, or even whether you survive after your parental duty is done. All that matters is that it gets done.
After that coldhearted exposition, on to point the fourth: free will. We've got it. Almost everything you do is your own choice. The only way anyone ever does anything they don't choose to do is if someone is able to physically overpower them and move them, while they are kicking, screaming and biting like a cheerleader. Even when someone has a gun to your head, they are still giving you a choice--do as they tell you or die. To most of us this is a no-brainer, but every time you do as that person says, you make that choice again, until they take the gun away or you choose to disobey them and they fire. Everything is a choice.
Point the fifth and final: a quote from Julie of the Wolves, a book I read a long time ago and remember little of except this.
"If you are afraid or unhappy, change what you are doing. You are doing something wrong."
So. Now, our feature presentation.
Given that we are no longer obligated merely to breed in order to sustain the human race.
Given that it is irrelevant, from a evolutionary point of view, whether or not we lead lives we enjoy.
Given that we are therefore free to choose our own reasons for living.
Given that we have the freedom to choose whatever course seems good to us, from the mundane to the esoteric to the self-destructive, and
Given that we have the ability to change our own situations when we are dissatisfied with them by changing our behavior,
it follows that the only thing that matters at all in our lives, the only imperative we have, is to be happy.
Got it? Stay with me, I'll explain. Being happy requires a certain amount of effort, unless you're... say, a slug. In a situation where our physical circumstances are for the most part satisfactory, as they are for us here in America; we are for the most part fed, clothed and sheltered. In such a situation, our happiness hinges largely on our satisfaction with ourselves. True, there is a certain part of all of us that will never be satisfied. Disregard that for the moment. In our desire to be happy with ourselves, we sometimes make the error of assuming that there is an endpoint, an ideal Me that we can aspire to, to which every tiny change brings us closer. Thing is, there isn't. It's not a one-way path, and there is no concept of ideal that we can reach. There's no perfect self for us to measure ourselves against.
In changing ourselves, changing our behavior, our outlook, our opinions, our only goal is happiness--satisfaction with self, and therefore happiness. But we must remember that the idea is not to "show upward progress over time." There is no "Most Improved" award up for grabs in the afterlife. We must remember that we are animals, and as such, we are subject to evolution.
When environmental pressures inform us that we are improperly equipped to survive, they do so with pain--physical or emotional. Unhappiness is a sign that we need to adapt, evolve. We adapt to our present circumstances, and the pain ceases, and opportunities open up within our periphery that were not available when we were unsuited to our situation. But if our conditions change, if the environment changes, the adaptations we made are no longer progress. They are now at best outdated, at worst a liability. When we are called upon to adapt again, our previous adaptations should enable us to do so with ease. But our new adaptive form is no better or worse than the preceding one. It is merely more appropriate for the job it has to do.
What I'm saying here is this: our only goal in life is happiness. If not, what are you living for? You aren't needed to keep the human race going, so you must be living for the sake of yourself and those around you. Your happiness and theirs, which is essential to yours. So when we feel pressure to change, we must remember that we are not worse than the form of ourselves we are trying to achieve. We are merely the product of environmental conditions that are no longer in effect.
I sound cold here. And this is a Darwinistic point of view, I know. But it is truly meant as comfort to you all, especially to my phantom, who made me think all day, and who already knows all this as well as I do. The point is that all you have to do in life is be happy. And there's no reason to ever be dissatisfied with yourself. If you're unhappy... change something. Anything. A lot of life is flailing, it's true. We don't get to know if something's going to work before we do it. But it's pretty damn hard to die, actually, especially in this country, home of Welfare and unemployment and No Child Left Behind. You have to really work to avoid someone trying to help you. So hell--try something! If you're not quite pleased with yourself or your situation--press a button! See what blows, and how far. See how hard you can rock everything around you. I guarantee--it's a lot more than you probably know. And if it doesn't work out, try something else! Optimism is a perfectly rational response to failure. After all, you've just brought yourself one step closer to success. You've learned a lesson, you know one thing at least you're not going to do again.
With affection and encouragement for my near and far and dear ones, because your happiness is important to me, and increases my own, I exhort you to take a risk if you feel you're unfulfilled. Take a damn good grip on what you know and then jump. What have you got to lose? Material objects? Bah. Reputation? Double bah. There's nothing in this world that makes it worth staying in a situation where you're unhappy. It's like when an abused woman stays with the man who beats her. What do all the people around her tell her? "Get out of there, honey. It's not worth it." Nothing is worth settling for less then exactly what you want out of yourself and the world. This sounds fucking cheesy, but that's because it's TRUE: you can have anything you want. You can be anything you want. All you have to do is go for it.
In closing, my phantom, my friends, lemme throw another quote at you, from his wild geniusness Sir Isaac Newton: "I have not failed. I've just found ten thousand ways that won't work."
And with that, I bid you goodnight, and wish you joy. Sleep well, sweet dreams. And tomorrow, seize the day and beat it with a stick till candy comes out.
posted by Rivaine # 10:45 PM 
